Please just stop touching me...

I just dont get it, why must the children touch you ALL.DAY.LONG? He spent nearly 9 months inside me...the next nearly 2 years attached at the boob...WHY CANT HE JUST DO SOMETHING BY HIMSELF?!?!?!?!?!??

This morning he has climbed on me, sat on me, stole my diet dr. pepper, sat on me, stole my breakfast, stole my lunch, sat on me, climbed on me, been in the sling, hung on me.....

GIVE

IT

A

BREAK

Seriously kid, go build a tower, go terrorize the dog...

I realize that one day I will miss the day when he's not so sweet and into his mommy, its just not that day today. All I want is a shower (we are going out to dinner with actual adults and actual adult restaurant) ....which means I need to put UP my ipod, turn on some mind numbing Sponge Bob and hope for the best.