So, its 11:08 pm-I have been in my pj's for approximately 3 hours, I've had a nice long bath.
Yah...sounds great until you realize that its FRIDAY - the kids are off with the MIL for most of the weekend and instead of going to see a movie or going shopping, I opted to come home and eat to go dessert and watch old episodes of Alias. Don't get me wrong, I had a great dinner (Stir Crazy) and a yummy dessert (Lemoncello Cream Torte from Cheesecake Factory). But I felt the need to apologize today because I feel like sometimes my seemingly pregnancy induced near social anxiety keeps us from going out.
Back story. Way back when, I had never been in a car accident...not ever. So I was approximately 32 weeks pregnant with Jack and I was headed home from a day of shopping with my mom (I think...we must have been doing SOMETHING baby related at that point) cause I was coming from her house and heading home to meet my husband and to make dinner. I go home the same way I always did and while I was waiting to merge into traffic my (practically brand new) 2003 Dodge Neon was rear ended by a full-size Dodge conversion van. I held it together long enough to call 911 and my husband (I think he might have called my mom). Then I got out of the car only to yell at the man driving the van (ha-imagine seeing a gigantically pregnant woman get out of a car you just hit!). He told me to sit down. I believe I told him to shut up.
We were all fine. 5 weeks of modified bed rest later, we had Jackson....who was perfectly fine. So lets count that as Accident #1, April 30, 2003.
When Jackson was 13 months old, I was headed home from I'm guessing work or something and was rear ended (again waiting to merge into traffic)-again the Neon. We were all fine in the end-but still...Accident #2 - July 2004.
Then...get this...Accident #3 - April 20, 2005 (notice the date was 4-20). We went out to dinner as a family (so that's all 3 of us in the car and I was 20 weeks pregnant with Quinten) we get rear ended by some stoner and a friend of hers. Of course we are all fine but, Q was proving himself to be pain in the rear end even then by not making a single move from the time of the accident (8:30-9ish at night) until the next afternoon. He even hid from the doppler when we went to the ER.
Am I done yet?
Somehow I avoided 2006, but last September (2007), I was working and had to go get change from the bank for work. I had convinced another employee to go with me (I was nervous there had been an attempted robbery there the week before) so we were laughing about all the things that could happen. Give that we were 2 totally trustworthy people, if we had said that we were held at gunpoint and they took the money-they would believe us. Another scenario was getting into a car accident and all the money goes flying *everywhere*. Ha ha....
Until we are on our way back and are sitting in traffic and I look into my rear view mirror and can literally see the people behind me crashing (like it was all in slow mo) and I have the time to say "we are about to get hit". It was just a tiny little bump...I was lucky to have been the last car hit in a 5 car accident. But again...in the neon....Accident #4.
So here I am at a juncture, I've had accident while pregnant, accident, accident while pregnant, accident.....so obviously even my 5 year old could tell you the next logical step in this pattern.
I worry about everything when we get ready to go out. Will we get into another car accident? What if its not okay like it has been in the past? What if everything is fine but Quinn throws a temper tantrum and I have to turn into a crazy mean mom? What if, what if, what if?
Logically something tells me to just avoid driving in the neon...but thats sometimes impossible (I am mainly driving the jetta now for the record). Something else tells me to avoid driving it in the month of April (maybe even April 10th to be exact?). But sometimes logical just isnt it. I mean I checked there is no target on the back of my car---ummm unless you count the Nobama sticker which might ACTUALLY be a target now that I think about it. But I cant avoid life just because of what might happen.
Or can I?